Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
