love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
