Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
