Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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