Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
