I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Houston, we have a blender
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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