this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
