Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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