it wasn't lemon gatorade
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have fence marks all over my body
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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