i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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