she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
