you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
