Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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