Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
