Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
