How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
