You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
