yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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