I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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