Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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