About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
