omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
