hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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