it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
