I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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