operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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