I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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