Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
