I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
