Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
