I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
