Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
