The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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