if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize