What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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