Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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