So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
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I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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