a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
