Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
