yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
