You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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