Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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