only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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