Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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