Define "chronic" masturbator.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How does it feel to date your dad?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
