that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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