If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
