who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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