you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need a beard to bite.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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