I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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