Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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