If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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