I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That's how pantless uber rides happen
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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