I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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