He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
