I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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