No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
