In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
