I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
