super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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