there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
