So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
