Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
