It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
