And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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