She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My ass is underappreciated
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
