"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
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