i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
