new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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