OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
